{"product_id":"your-chariot-awaits-birthday-greeting-card","title":"Your Chariot Awaits Birthday Greeting Card","description":"\u003ch2 style=\"color: #FF0000;\"\u003eYour Chariot Awaits Birthday Greeting Card: Ruthless Aging Humor\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLuxury transportation looks a little different after a certain mileage. The \"Your Chariot Awaits\" Birthday Card skips the fake compliments about aging gracefully and hands over the keys to their real future: an aluminum walker tricked out with regulation tennis balls. Set against a vintage textured background, this ruthless greeting welcomes your favorite aging friend, parent, or coworker to the era of early bird specials, joint pain forecasts, and prime parking spots.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on durable heavyweight cardstock, the cover delivers crisp, deadpan illustration work designed to stand out on the mantle long after the cake is gone. The inside is left completely blank, providing unrestricted space to recommend orthopedic footwear, plan their retirement home tour, or remind them that getting old beats the alternative. Each card includes a matching white envelope, ready to slide across the table or drop in the mail to celebrate their inevitable physical decline.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3 style=\"color: #FF0000;\"\u003eYour Chariot Awaits Birthday Greeting Card Specifications:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 5\" x 7\" (folded)\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavyweight cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eInterior:\u003c\/strong\u003e Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eInclusions:\u003c\/strong\u003e Matching white mailing envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrint:\u003c\/strong\u003e Full-color exterior\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"The Original Underground","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53519857942895,"sku":"YOURCHARIOTAWAITSCARD061725","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0945\/4469\/1567\/files\/Your-Chariot-Awaits_Card_Mock.jpg?v=1790127691","url":"https:\/\/houseplantshop.store\/products\/your-chariot-awaits-birthday-greeting-card","provider":"House Plant Shop","version":"1.0","type":"link"}