{"product_id":"jeffrey-dahmer-i-chews-you-greeting-card","title":"Jeffrey Dahmer \"I Chews You\" Greeting Card","description":"\u003ch2 style=\"color: #FF0000;\"\u003eJeffrey Dahmer \"I Chews You\" Card: Twisted True Crime Romance\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe are all hungry for a little love and affection—some of us just have vastly more concerning appetites. The Jeffrey Dahmer \"I Chews You\" Greeting Card from The Original Underground serves up the sickest romantic pun in modern true crime lore. Featuring a deadpan portrait of the infamous Milwaukee monster in prison orange stamped with the bone-chilling caption \"I CHEWS YOU,\" this twisted greeting card is built strictly for partners with pitch-black humor, morbid fascinations, and a shared obsession with macabre documentaries.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDitch the sickeningly sweet supermarket valentines and send something truly unhinged. Each 5x7 inch folded card is professionally printed on heavyweight, premium luster card stock that highlights eerie photographic clarity and sharp, blood-curdling contrast. Kept completely blank inside, it leaves you total freedom to write intense romantic declarations, twisted inside jokes, or your deepest devotions. Every card comes complete with a crisp matching mailing envelope, sealed and ready to unleash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3 style=\"color: #FF0000;\"\u003eJeffrey Dahmer Greeting Card Specifications:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eProduct Type:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dark comedy greeting card \/ true crime romantic stationery\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eArtwork Theme:\u003c\/strong\u003e Jeffrey Dahmer prison portrait featuring \"I CHEWS YOU\" morbid parody text\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e Folded 5\" x 7\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePaper Stock:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavyweight premium luster finish greeting card stock\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eInterior:\u003c\/strong\u003e Completely blank inside for personalized handwritten messages\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eIncluded:\u003c\/strong\u003e Includes 1 matching mailing envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/strong\u003e Sealed in a protective clear sleeve\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"The Original Underground","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53519892021615,"sku":"JDAHMCARD-1","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0945\/4469\/1567\/files\/I-Chews-You_9940d69e-4b64-40cc-85bc-e406bdd4c587.jpg?v=1790128494","url":"https:\/\/houseplantshop.store\/products\/jeffrey-dahmer-i-chews-you-greeting-card","provider":"House Plant Shop","version":"1.0","type":"link"}